“This is the last time I buy anything just because it’s furry.”
One Sentence Recap: Lorelai oversleeps on Rory’s first day at Chilton nearly causing them to be late and, unfortunately, both of their days only go down from there (I did it! Short and sweet).
My Commentary: When this episode opens, Lorelai is painting Rory’s toenails, while they discuss first day jitters. After all, Rory’s first day at Chilton is tomorrow! Rory squirts whip cream directly into her mouth, something I now associate with the perfect mother-daughter relationship. (Personal Sidebar: As a child, I always wanted to pull that move, but didn’t because I was a goody-goody and knew the action could get me scolded by my hygiene-fixated father. Sometimes I would sneak a quick squirt in the middle of the night when my parents were asleep, but to be able to freely partake in parentally sanctioned whip cream guzzling?! Now, that’s just the dream.) Also this detail is important to note because it’s the first time we see the Gilmore Girls truly eat like Gilmore Girls. In the pilot you get a glimpse into their refined pallets through their constant coffee drinking and Rory ordering chili fries, but if you recall, they also at salad in that episode. SALAD. And not at an elegant Grandparent dinner… at LUKE’S. But nobody worry, by the first minute of the second episode, they got it right: whip cream by the can.
The next thing you know, it is Monday morning and the furry clock didn’t purr on time. Rory urgently wakes her mother, who sports some seriously awesome monkey pajamas. Speaking of which, Lorelai has a whole slew of fabulously dated clothing in this one. Forgetting to pick up her dry cleaning, she’s forced to put on a pink, tie-dyed v-neck and a pair of daisy dukes. She pulls her hair up in a quick pony tail with glittery, red baubles (anyone else overcome with 90s/early 00s nostalgia yet?). While I’m not one for pointing out plot holes, I must ask, why doesn’t she just borrow clothes from Rory? Rory borrows her mother’s clothes; surely this is a two-way street and surely, Rory has something slightly more professional than little jean short-shorts. However, I appreciate it’s purpose as the catalyst for all of the mockery. The outfit mishap does not go unnoticed, even fashion-rookie, Luke, takes this opportunity to throw a playful jab.
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Lorelai and Rory somehow manage to make it to Chilton with time to meet with the Headmaster and strike up conversation with an eligible Chilton-Dad. My first impression of Chilton: this place has got to be haunted. The Gargoyles alone send that message. Everyone within the school’s impressive campus appears to be pissed off or terrified, students and staff alike. Headmaster Charleston is no exception. This dude runs a tight ship. He is definitely a strong believer in the concept of “scared-straight.” He wants every kid, even the seemingly perfect ones like Rory, that passes through his halls to know that what they are doing there is important and therefore difficult. I mean he’s got a freakin’ fireplace in his office! Intimidation must be on his agenda.
And who ambushes the girls at their meeting? Why of course, Mrs. Emily Gilmore. If the opportunity for meddling presents itself, you can be assured, Emily will show up on the scene. She makes nice, polite chit-chat with Charleston about his wife (This marks the first reference of the infamous lobster puffs!…if you’re keeping track….), but behind closed doors, Emily too makes fun of Lorelai’s inappropriate appearance: “Is your horse parked out front? No spurs please!” Now, we know where Lorelai gets her wit. Finally, after their terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day the Gilmore Girls are reunited with a giant hug of relief, which has got to be one of my absolute favorite non-romantic TV hugs of all time. It’s simply everything.
Lastly, we can’t forget that we are introduced to two new staple secondary characters in this episode: Paris and Kirk (or as he is mysteriously called here, Mick). The writers seemed to nail Paris right on the head from the get-go. She is introduced as a power-hungry student, willing to crawl under bushes to make sure she stays top dog, flanked by tweedle dee and tweedle dum, Madison and Louise.
And while they made her harsh, they did not forget to also equip her with a sharp sense of humor allowing the audience to perceive how she will fit in with the Gilmore Girls and stick around for the long haul. Kirk, on the other hands, the writers didn’t quite have a firm enough grasp on by this point. In fact, they hadn’t even landed on a name. He is introduced as Mick, the DSL installation worker and GNOME-KICKER. I mean come on? Kirk, might be slightly insane but his is a lovable insanity. He ain’t no gnome-kicker! Tangent: Let’s all just LOL at the fact that the line “We like our internet slow, okay” was said by Lorelai in all seriousness. Silly Lorelai.
Who Won the Episode? Luke Danes! I think it’s clear to say that neither Lorelai nor Rory was the real winner here. Both of their days sucked from their rude awakening and only worsened with time. Luke, on the other hand, got to make an edgy suicide joke and turned some heads with his backwards-baseball-hat swagger in this episode. By the end, he had Lorelai reevaluating his friend-zone status. Big day for Luke!
Runner Up: Lorelai’s legs! Lorelai may have had it rough here, but those daisy-dukes showed off her dazzling long legs. Even when she picked up her dry cleaning and swapped her “rodeo” clothes for that OH SO NINETIES mini-skirt-suit combo, her legs stole the show. No shoulder pads or clunky heals can stop those babies. She may have a kid at sixteen and she still hast it!
Gilmore-ism Guide
- Charles Dickens: English Victorian novelist who became a spokesman for the poor and destitute. His acclaimed works include David Copperfield and Great Expectations
- Christiane Amanpour: International correspondent for CNN, who frequently reports from the world’s most newsworthy sites
- Cokie Roberts: an American journalist and author. She is a contributing senior news analyst for National Public Radio
- Dixie Chicks: an American country music band, whose founding members are three sisters, which has also crossed over into other genres
- The Dukes of Hazzard: an American television series that aired on the CBS television network from January 26, 1979 to February 8, 1985. Main character, Daisy, often used her looks, her trademark provocatively high-cut jean short shorts and her position at the restaurant to get insider information; more recently known for her shout-out in Katy Perry’s song California Gurls
- Fyodor Dostoyevskey: a Russian novelist, short story writer, essayist, journalist and philosopher, best known for his novel Crime and Punishment
- Hunchback of Notre Dame: 1831 French novel by Victor Hugo, set in the famous Paris cathedral. The novel follows hunchback Quasimodo’s quest for Esmeralda
- Oprah Winfrey: an American media proprietor, talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist. This one-name celebrity is best known for her multi-award-winning talk show The Oprah Winfrey Show
- Rosie O’Donnell: an American comedian, actress, author, celebrity blogger, LGBT rights activist
- Schindler’s List: Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning 1993 movie about businessman Oskar Schindler. During WWII, he profited off Jewish laborers but ultimately he saved over one thousand lives from death in Nazi gas chambers
- Shakespeare: Really? REALLY? If you need to read this, you need to go back to school! Or keep watching simply Gilmore Girls to brush up on your history. But if you’ve been living under a rock since the 1500s, Shakespeare was an English poet, and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world’s pre-eminent dramatist
- The Shining: 1980 Horror film by Stanley Kubrick, based on the Stephen King novel of the same name. It starts Jack Nicholson as a tormented father who goes crazy at a secluded hotel
- The View: an American talk show and entertainment/infotainment program that airs on ABC
- XTC Apple Venus (Volume 2): the fourteenth and final studio album by the English band XTC
You've Been Gilmored! 