“I got kissed. And I shoplifted.”
One Sentence Recap: Rory has her first kiss with Dean, and Lorelai finds out from the town gossip mill.
My Commentary: Fall Festival season has hit Stars Hollow! It’s pumpkins galore in the town square! Luke is being reluctant to decorate the diner with turkeys and orange leaves as per usual, and Lorelai is not wearing any underwear. This makes for a humorous cold open, but it’s not what we really care about because in just a few short minutes Rory will have her first kiss, and we will forget all about the previous shenanigans. Rory heads straight for the grocery store after school, hoping to see Dean. Fortunately he’s there. They make small talk about corn starch, and then he offers her a pop (yes, pop, not soda….am I taking Dean’s side here!?). Suddenly, he just kisses her, without warning. It’s a good kiss, so she thanks him because gosh-darn-it Rory is polite above all else! Then she darts off across the street to tell Lane (I’m seeing a pattern develop here, remember Rory’s quick getaway in episode 4?) When she finds Lane she frantically declares “I got kissed. And–And I shoplifted,” holding up her box of corn starch that will now forever be treasured on her shelf.
Lane fills the bestie roll perfectly, offering her squeals of encouragement and begging for every tiny detail, including location. Lane asks where this happened, and Rory answers in Doose’s Market aisle 3. Lane, completely giddy, says “by the ant spray?! That’s a good aisle.” Later on in the episode, Lorelai also speaks highly of aisle 3. I know that their praise is less about the actual aisle and more geared toward the event that occurred there, but ant spray? Really? That sounds like the absolute worst aisle of the entire store. I mean, even produce would be better than that!
Meanwhile, Lorelai is at home hopelessly attempting to describe what is wrong with her fridge to costumer service. The entire contents of the appliance is sprawled all over the floor around her, which brings up an interesting point (well, to me it’s interesting. Being a MAJOR sweet tooth myself, I am endlessly fascinated by their unhealthy diet yet impeccable figures. The fictional world is a magical place). Why is there actual food in their fridge? Sure, it’s probably 50% condiments, including two cans of whip cream, but there is also fresh fruit and vegetables and meat. Not to mention an entire bowl of apples on the kitchen table. Like, one could cook a real meal with those ingredients! This is especially strange considering later on in the episode when Lorelai forces Rory to go into the Market she claims that they have “nothing.” But I suppose buying junk food beats making salad, especially to accompany a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie night.
Mrs. Kim informs Lorelai that her daughter is traipsing around town kissing boys. Actually she warns Lorelai of this. Mrs. Kim is very against boys. Lorelai struggles to understand why Rory wouldn’t tell her this. Unable to stand her parental curiosity, she does a little light stalking of her own where she bumps into Luke. Luke acts as the voice of reason, telling her that this is different. It’s a boy thing, of course she’s not going to tell her mom. The two bicker over the whole thing which finally ends in Luke saying “you’re an amazing woman” and Lorelai responding “Thank you for noticing.” ( Eeep! Luke + Lorelai forever!).
Later, when Rory arrives home, Lorelai cannot take it. As Rory is grabbing the left over chinese (out of the miraculously fixed fridge), she blurts out “So, kissed any good boys lately?” Reallllll subtle, Lorelai. Rory is mortified, yet relieved that the cat’s out of the bag. Now, she can finally get some advice from her best friend and man-magnet, Lorelai Gilmore. Speaking of, can we just quickly look at how absolutely adorable Lorelai looks in this scene? Somehow this 90s look is workin’ for her.
Lorelai begins to be her old self again, mocking Rory, or shall I call her “Super Market Slut” (Man, I wish that stuck). The girls prep for a movie night and hit up Doose’s. Rory freaks a little about her mom meeting her “boy-type person.” But Lorelai promises to lessen her strong personality and behave. They grab a wide selection of candy and head to the check out, where Lorelai finds out that it’s expensive to slowly rot your insides (Amen, sista friend). She may have promised not to joke, but she never promised not to invite him to join them back at their house. Lorelai plays wing-woman, but Rory isn’t happy. She completely wigs out at Lorelai, calling her “mother” as if there’s supposed to be another word after it. Rory weighs the pros and cons and concludes that she can’t go back. She must go forward with her mom-made plans.
It might seem like an awkward three-way-mother-daughter date, but Lorelai is not your average mom. She’s a cool mom (and not in the Amy Poehler’s character from Mean Girls way).
Lorelai’s fashion expertise and ability to teach the perfect hair twirl, instills a sense of confidence in Rory. Lorelai’s a flirtatious queen so like mother, like daughter right? The non-date date goes off with out a hitch. Rory enjoys herself and only panics briefly once, Lorelai gives her mom “what are your intentions” speech without losing her cool, and Dean’s response makes her want to like him. Overall a very successful night. But, Dean, remember “she’s not going on your motorcycle” (great callback to the pilot!).
In the end, Lorelai finally gets to hear all about the kiss in the way that she wanted to hear it, and Rory finally gets to gush to her mom. They’re back, baby!
. 
Who Won the Episode? Rory Gilmore! It’s simple she gets a kiss from the boy she likes. She must be doing something right. Also she faces her fears when her mother accidentally morphs their simple movie night into a big date night. She may have been freakin’ out over what to wear twenty minutes before Dean arrived, but once he got there she kept her cool…for the most part (well when she was in front of him, which is really what counts here). She made conversation, even a little eye contact. Long story short, she totally took advantage of this unwanted surprise. She even got a second kiss out of it. I’d bet she’s thanking her momma now!
Gilmore-ism Guide
- Barbra Streisand: American singer, songwriter, actress, director, writer, producer, designer, photographer, and activist. During a career spanning six decades, she has become an icon in multiple fields of entertainment, winning numerous awards
- Boogie Nights: American drama written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson about a young man’s adventures in the Californian pornography industry of the late 1970s and early 1980s
- Chuck Heston: American actor and political activist; as a Hollywood star he appeared in 100 films over the course of 60 years
- The Crucible: Arthur Miller’s play about the 1692 witch trials that took place in the puritan town of Salem, Massachusetts
- Elsa Klensch: Chic international fashion correspondent for CNN
- Gene Hackman: an American actor and novelist, first coming into fame through his performance in Bonnie and Clyde
- General Hospital: an American daytime television medical drama that is listed in Guinness World Records as the longest-running American soap opera in production. Characters come and go but the show goes on!
- Ice Castles: 1978 American romantic drama directed by Donald Wrye about a partially blind Iowa figure skater who receives help from her father, her boyfriend and a rink operator to aim for the Olympics
- James Dean: Gifted and strikingly handsome method actor whose status as a cultural icon is best embodied in the title of his most famous film, Rebel Without a Cause. Dean died tragically at the age of 24, but he’ll live forever in Taylor Swift’s new hit “Style“
- Lothario: a male first name which came to connote an unscrupulous seducer of women in The Impertinent Curiosity
- Magnolia: 1999 American film written, produced, and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, in which interrelated characters in search of happiness, forgiveness, and meaning
- Marky Mark: Mark Wahlberg’s alias during his rapper years as a member of American hip-hop group “Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch“
- Nancy Walker: American actress and comedienne of stage, screen, and television.
- Robert Redford: American actor, film director, producer, businessman, environmentalist, philanthropist, and a founder of the Sundance Film Festival
- The Way We Were: 1973 American romantic drama film about Katie Morosky, a politically active Jew, and Hubbell Gardiner , a feckless WASP who meet in college; years later, in the wake of World War II, they meet again and, despite their obvious differences, marry
You've Been Gilmored! 